TALES OF TINSELTOWN is a cockeyed view of Hollywood in the 30s-from the all-singing, all-dancing merriment to the dark "Hollywood Babylon" underside. As the show opens, we meet ADELE DeRALE, gossip columnist for Hollywood's dishiest movie magazine Tinseltown.  ADELE tells how "The Public Wants to Know" all the scandalous news on established and aspiring stars.  We cut to a small farm in Walnut, Iowa, where the abused but ambitious farmgirl ELLIE HINKELBERRY has decided to change her name to ELLIE ASH.  She dreams of of becoming a screen immortal-via the dazzling animal imitations she's picked up on the farm.  ELMO GREEN, an aspiring scenarist from New York, bicycles by and becomes infatuated with ELLIE. ELLIE quickly agrees to join him as he bikes to Hollywood.  Once they arrive, ELMO convinces his uncle, tyrannical film mogul NORMAN G. NEINSTEIN, to screen-test ELLIE at N.G.N. Productions.  NORMAN is busy placating his paramour, LULU BEAUVEEN, the film goddess who has tried every "kick" from drugs, alcohol, and rampant sex to religion; but who yearns to try the riskiest sensation of all-doing a movie musical.  When NORMAN agrees to produce THE JUNGLE SONG, a movie musical geared to LULU's King Kong-like dancing, he hires an assortment of musical talents-all oddballs.  They include: TONY TOSCANINI, the singing plumber from Flushing whose gorgeous Mario Lanza voice clashes with his hulky appearance (until plastic surgery turns him into a matinee idol);  DANNY BURKE, a slick Gene Kelly type whose frantic hoofing has to be calmed down before he makes the grade; and BERTHA POWELL, an Ethel Merman-like belter whose voice nearly shatters the camera and everyone around her.

However, it is ELLIE-among this bunch-who becomes the superstar.  Her bird and rhino calls steal the show during the making of THE JUNGLE SONG.  She becomes the "Girl of a Thousand Sounds," able to simulate any animal noise, sound effect, or vocal style required by a movie role.  She also sleeps her way to the top, top-lining every kind of musical movie made during the 30s.  Yet, against the backdrop of the Hollywoodland Sign (where has-beens take the final plunge), California turns from a dream to a nightmare for ELLIE.  While making REBECCA OF SUNNYBROOK FARM, she discovers she is pregnant; and her wholesome screen image is shattered-as every man on the production thinks himself the dad.  ADELE DeRALE latches onto this news to destroy ELLIE's name and career. Twists, turns, revealed secrets, tragedy, and an absurdist ending ensue:  as ELLIE and ELMO are reunited at the Hollywoodland Sign, where each plans to jump.  They decide, instead to cast aside the ravages of Tinseltown and bike off into the sunset-expecting happier times in the New York theatre. Requires a cast of 8 (four females, four males; cast can be expanded) and unit set.  Visit website: http://www.michaelcolby.com/talesoftinseltown.html